Myree was a beautiful and happy woman with a big smile that she wore often. She had five growing children and lived in a modest little home just around the corner from me. Her disposition was sunny even with the gray cloud that loomed over her life. Myree had cancer. And every time they thought that she had beat it, they found that it had returned again.
It seemed unfair as I watched her arrive at church with a scarf on her head to cover her radiation induced hair loss. It didn't seem right that someone so kind with a young family should have to endure such an experience. But, if she agreed with my opinion she never showed it. The only emotion that I saw her focusing on was gratitude.
I remember clearly hearing Myree express her gratitude for her dishwasher. Up until her cancer had struck she had happily lived life doing her dishes by hand (most of us can't imagine going without a dishwasher anymore!) But, with the onset of her illness her family saw that she would be free to spend more time with those she loved and focusing on what was important if she didn't have all those dishes to do by hand. So, her siblings pitched in and bought her a dishwasher. She was so grateful.
In fact, she seemed to always be grateful. She kept notebooks full of gratitude. Each night she would record five things about her day that she was thankful for...
Grateful that I watched home movies with my husband while we held hands
Grateful to work on a quilt for my son
Grateful that a friend called today
Grateful for my dishwasher
And so on and so on. She was grateful for the seemingly small things in life, when her kids enjoyed dinner with her, when they prayed together, when the weather was nice. And though Myree eventually lost her physical battle with cancer I think that in many ways she won it too. At her funeral each of her children spoke about her. They expressed their love and gratitude for her to an abundant crowd of people. Her husband read a few entries from her gratitude journal. The moments that he shared were not profound, they were simple daily occurences. She had truly found the ability to appreciate life and live it with joy even in the midst of sorrow. I exchanged only a few words with her husband that day. I told him what a great woman she was. He gave me hug and told me "she was so grateful for your friendship"
I went home that night, got out a blank journal, and wrote down five things that I was grateful for before I went to bed. I felt happy. The next night I did the same. And for years that followed I did that every night. I found myself looking for things as I went about my day that I might write down that night. I began to notice the little joys that were filling my life. Those little things became the big things that life was centered around and although my circumstances did not change my happiness grew.
And sometimes when I am complaining about life in general I think of Myree. And I remind myself to pick up that gratitude journal and start finding all the sunshine even on the most cloudy days. What five things are you most grateful for today?
Showing posts with label Gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gratitude. Show all posts
Monday, November 30, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
"Heart" Felt Gratitude
As I sit here typing my chubby little almost 1 year old is crawling around my feet. Occasionally she looks up at me and gives me a 4 toothed grin because she just found a Cheerio on the floor from breakfast or has just stood up on her wobbly baby legs on her own and wants to show off her accomplishment. My other kids are at school-my good friends gave them rides this morning because the battery in our car was dead. My house looks like a whirl of children live here and I just got off the phone with my mom. I could here my dad in the background and our conversation was lighthearted as we talked of Christmas plans and suprises for the kids. And as I sat down to the computer my mind was flooded with the memory of what this Thanksgiving week was like one year ago.
It was Friday night. I was very pregnant and my parents had come to stay with me while my husband was out of town-just in case. The kids were in bed and the three of us plopped down in the living room to watch something on the tv. I can still see in my mind my dad standing up and saying that his arm felt funny. He left the room. My mom looked concerned and she stood up and followed him. And before I knew what was happening my parents were rushing out the door taking my dad to the emergency room. He was having a heart attack. I sat at home in the dark waiting for her to call me. When the phone rang her voice was shaky and she said that he was in surgery. I called a friend to come stay with my kids and I drove through the night to be with them. On the way I called my husband and then my brother to give them the kind of news that no one wants at 2am- dad is in the hospital, he just had a heart attack and we are not sure what is going to happen.
I found my mom in the waiting room alone. We waited together and soon we got news that the doctors had placed two stints in one of his arteries and that we could see him. Over the next few days dad had several moments where his blood pressure dropped so low that we saw the medical teams go into panic mode. He passed out in the shower at the hospital and hit his head and he looked like I had never seen him before-weak and worried. We prayed he would recover fully, we prayed that I wouldn't go into labor while he was in the hospital, we prayed that my husband would return home safely from his travels, and by the following Wednesday my dad was released from the hospital, my husband was home, and we thankfully still did not have a baby. We celebrated Thanksgiving the next day and set up our Christmas tree together.
The following Wednesday our healthy baby girl made her entrance to the world. I watched as people poured out their love for me, for my dad, and for my new little one all at the same time. I watched my parents and saw the depth of their love for each other as my mom researched everything she could do to help my dad recover and as she served him in every way that she could. I listened to my dad express his concern that mom was so tired and that she needed to get some rest and he hoped she wouldn't worry too much. I saw my dad welcome his newest grandchild in his arms. My mom and dad stayed with us for a time and when the doctors felt he was well enough to make the trip home they did. We were all exhausted, we were all amazed. We had all gained a new perspective.
Sometimes you have moments when you realize that all the little things that you take for granted could be gone without notice. Sometimes you have moments when you realize that you just can't do it on your own. But the beauty of these moments is that they are often followed by an overwhelming realization that you are not alone. During this time of year when we reflect on those things that we are grateful for I express my heart felt grattitude not only for the two gifts of life that my family was given last year but also for the assurance that even if there are times when things do not turn out as we hope they will, we will not be left to fare alone. In this crazy hustle bustle world there are still geniunly good people who love and care and there will always be a God who looks after us-what more could we ask for.
What are you thankful for?
It was Friday night. I was very pregnant and my parents had come to stay with me while my husband was out of town-just in case. The kids were in bed and the three of us plopped down in the living room to watch something on the tv. I can still see in my mind my dad standing up and saying that his arm felt funny. He left the room. My mom looked concerned and she stood up and followed him. And before I knew what was happening my parents were rushing out the door taking my dad to the emergency room. He was having a heart attack. I sat at home in the dark waiting for her to call me. When the phone rang her voice was shaky and she said that he was in surgery. I called a friend to come stay with my kids and I drove through the night to be with them. On the way I called my husband and then my brother to give them the kind of news that no one wants at 2am- dad is in the hospital, he just had a heart attack and we are not sure what is going to happen.
I found my mom in the waiting room alone. We waited together and soon we got news that the doctors had placed two stints in one of his arteries and that we could see him. Over the next few days dad had several moments where his blood pressure dropped so low that we saw the medical teams go into panic mode. He passed out in the shower at the hospital and hit his head and he looked like I had never seen him before-weak and worried. We prayed he would recover fully, we prayed that I wouldn't go into labor while he was in the hospital, we prayed that my husband would return home safely from his travels, and by the following Wednesday my dad was released from the hospital, my husband was home, and we thankfully still did not have a baby. We celebrated Thanksgiving the next day and set up our Christmas tree together.
The following Wednesday our healthy baby girl made her entrance to the world. I watched as people poured out their love for me, for my dad, and for my new little one all at the same time. I watched my parents and saw the depth of their love for each other as my mom researched everything she could do to help my dad recover and as she served him in every way that she could. I listened to my dad express his concern that mom was so tired and that she needed to get some rest and he hoped she wouldn't worry too much. I saw my dad welcome his newest grandchild in his arms. My mom and dad stayed with us for a time and when the doctors felt he was well enough to make the trip home they did. We were all exhausted, we were all amazed. We had all gained a new perspective.
Sometimes you have moments when you realize that all the little things that you take for granted could be gone without notice. Sometimes you have moments when you realize that you just can't do it on your own. But the beauty of these moments is that they are often followed by an overwhelming realization that you are not alone. During this time of year when we reflect on those things that we are grateful for I express my heart felt grattitude not only for the two gifts of life that my family was given last year but also for the assurance that even if there are times when things do not turn out as we hope they will, we will not be left to fare alone. In this crazy hustle bustle world there are still geniunly good people who love and care and there will always be a God who looks after us-what more could we ask for.
What are you thankful for?
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