Confessions of an Untrained Beautician

One sunny afternoon when I was in highschool my boyfriend decided to let me cut his hair. He apparently either had a very distorted trust in my abilities, or he has just completely lost his senses. We sat out on the patio behind my grandma's house and I was feeling confident as I heard the buzz of the clippers when I turned them on. A few short moments later my victim, I mean boyfriend, heard me say the words "UH OH...UM, UH OH". "What?" he asked."What happened?" I don't know how it had happened but somehow I had shaved a large bald spot on the side of his head. He tried to act gracious and like it wasn't a big deal...but there was really no way to hide that large bald spot I had just shaved into his scalp. And he wore a hat frequently after that.

Fast forward a few years and I am married to a guy who is also willing to let me cut his hair in order to save a few bucks...these poor guys are just asking for it aren't they? And soon we had a little boy who is now also subjected to letting me cut his hair. I try, really I do. But to be quite honest I don't really know how to cut hair. Sometimes it turns out looking impressive. And sometimes it looks like, well, like you let your teenage girlfriend do her first haircut on you.

Last night was one of those nights. I don't want to take all the credit for my work. I mean, the tools that you use are half of the battle right?, Right. That's why I use these clippers:

Uh huh. They fell apart a while ago so we had to duct tape them together. Only thing is that with that duct tape on them the attachments don't stay on as well.

So, I cut my husband's hair. It turned out fine. But then again he likes his hair pretty much buzzed. Then it was my son's turn. I asked him if he wanted really short hair like daddy. He said no. He likes to be able to comb his hair and we make a cut little spiky wave in the front. So I told him I wouldn't cut it that short and I started buzzing away. And suddenly...UH OH. It was a flash back to that patio haircut in highschool. The attachment had fallen off the clippers in mid-swipe and left a lovely Nike swoosh shaped bald spot on the side on my little guys head. He, like the boyfriend, had no idea what had just happened. So, I told him I was having a little trouble with the clippers and I was going to have to keep working at it for a minute to make it look right. I cut the sides shorter and shorter in an attempt to hide the bald spot. And when I could go no shorter the Nike swoosh still shone like an advertisement on his head.  I just don't think this picture does it justice.

So I told him I was done and he ran to the bathroom to look. Here he is:

And he said one word when he looked in the mirror. A dead pan "WHAT?"

But, he got over it quickly and I'm sure that he will forget about it and let me cut his hair again next time. The men in my life never seem to learn.